Hmmm...reactionsss ?!

eh, i dunno...i might have to work on it....you know, the thing below...
but please, read it, and sent me your thoughts/comments/constructive criticizms ??

thanks, guys!

<3


irish dance FOREVER !!!

feis season 'ohfive...BRING IT OOON !!!

okkay, so it was probably erin's new arm crew quote that set me off and sent me thinking...

> a good dancer has the posture that can say,
"i have presence, and you are dirt."
especially when they forget to smile.

and now, ladies and gents, here is my own rambling version:

I want what comes with the last award standing;
For all the eyes in a room full of envy
to be fixed upon me,
I want to be loathed with their stare,
and hated with a passion that will make them
mutter threatening open promises to themselves
in the backseat on the way home,
and make them dance in practice with an aggression
and force that comes only with the note
of true jealousy, and the sting of knowing that
YOU LOST TO ME.

I want their spilled, broken dreams in the palm of my left hand,
and the tears from shattered hopeful eyes, brought on by me
in my right..

I want the pride, and the honor
of holding a first that declares:
I AM THE CHAMPION, and NO ONE COMES BEFORE ME.
The recognition that comes
even without an actual solid trophy, the label that becomes
plastered on your chest, and slandered across your face.

It is inscribed, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
your place amongst the other less-worthies,
and it is a banner that makes them scream internally:
"oooh, she's a GOOD ONE, she is...THAT'S the one to BEAT."

I want to be able to pretend than i am better
than the dirt they are, to pretend to look down on them
in my victorious glory.

I want to witness the hushed utterings of people whom
as you pass them by, stop, and stare at you
when you're facing them walking down the hall,
and continually do so when only your back is visible.
They turn and whisper behind it, as if it is a sheild
with the amazing ability to block sound from traveling,
and thus, as if you would not realize they were all talking about you.
I want to be able to walk down that hall
with an eminating confidence that spreads throughout the masses,
that shows through a direct, athletic step in a methodic rhythm that says,
"I don't care, nor give two shits",
the successful walk that exemplifies the one
of failed attempts of the others;
With shoulders lie low, and chin held high
With taught jaw and clenched teeth
With a mouth small, tight, precise
Nose in opposite proximity to the ground,
and with eyes wide with an intense stare
that could knock down anyone, anywhere -
eyes that you better believe could look but once upon you
and proclaim their sheer superiority.

I want what comes with victory.

I want what comes with the win.

Happy 2005 . . . ??

im stealing it! im stealing it! im stealing it too! (because doing a random survey sure beats the hell out of sitting here feeling terrible about yourself....so yeah!)

here goes 2004...go go!:


1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
i jumped off a roof two times in the same day (to beat my record of once jumping out a window...yeah i know, i know...)
i served as a main character in a movie that was actually funny...no matter how rediculous
i drove a car! (not that it was illegal, or anything...)
i drank more than ever before in my life (not that it was illegal, or anything..)
i had real, actual moments of NO TALKING?!?! thats right, i said no talking!!!
i let myself care for someone, and then actually admitted it
i was with the one person i actually wanted to be with when the ball dropped...and i remember it (even tho we didnt have an actual view of the tv at all...but it didnt fucking matter...)
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
well, i attempted to resolve not to be an idiot...but we all can see how that turned out..
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nahh...but i got someone pregnant....or so they tell me (and its because i raped them.... ;) )
4. Did anyone close to you die?
thankfully no, but then again some people should...haaha
5. What countries did you visit?
i visited st. james...and smithtown...and enopo (because i finally figured out what that was hehe)...and yes, they're fucking countries because i fucking say so....fuck!
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
not be an asshole..?? yeah, i'd like to try that
im also considering becoming a "raging lesbian every other tuesday when it rains" because thats when the armcrew is the fucking hottest...and also because guys suck.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
ummm...errr...fuck! i cant remember that far back, lol shit! well...i dont have any actual dates...but yeah:
parties at the errinnos
parties at the kellys
stonybrook runs
random retard moments
the day i discovered social distortion
that whole time between new years eve eve and new years day...even tho i dont really remember all of it...

and this is because they were all fucking amaaaaazing...!!!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
coming back to dance and oh so totally ROCKING!!! (except at the most important competition, the only one i fucked up entirely...but yeah, other than that..!)
9. What was your biggest failure?
Oireachtas, and my silence
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
yes, have i mentioned i suffer from being crazy?! and yes, i injure myself because of it. i also injure my liver from drinking, and cough up a lung from all the second-hand smoke...lolol
11. What was the best thing you bought?
a watermelon stuffed with this cool shit
an awesome pin-striped hat that is oh so totally sexy
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
there's alot of characters deserving of this....and i say fuck i love you all!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
some...but it was mostly my own fault anyway, so damn you!
14. Where did most of your money go?
to nights out with friends, booze, lost bets, dares, friends for gas (b.c they are lovely drivers, and i am not one of them), and random stupid things i just had to buy b.c it was either amaznig, amusing, hilarious....or i was just thinking of someone
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
well, i would say going to meet the prodigals, but unfortunately that did not happen...but i was still excited about it!
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
this is so sad, but id have to say Drop It Like Its Hot...if you want funny memories, oh god...
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier in some ways....sadder in others
ii. thinner or fatter? well, i lost four pounds...
iii. richer or poorer? if you call being richer having eleven dollars and twenty-three cents in the bank instead of nothing, and that you can't even take out anyway b.c the bank only gives out cash in incriments of twenties, then yes...
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
i never thought i'd say this, but talking
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
i never thought i'd say this, but thinking
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i am the ghoooost of Christmas passsst!
yeah dude, it passed - and sucked - because i was alone
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yeah, right...
23. How many one-night stands?
dunno, must've lost count over the years...hahah
24. What was your favorite TV program?
no idea...i mean i like That 70's Show, but who the fuck cares!
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
i only hate two people, and it hasn't changed, they're still assholes
26. What was the best book you read?
david copperfeild!! i die for literature, man, im such a sucker...especially for non-existant little sisters...
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
SOCIAL DISTORTION...my God, i'm having a love affair with them...
28. What did you want and get?
to unveil my SECRETS to the world! ...hahaha
28. What did you want and not get?
alot of things
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
dunno, haven't seen that many because no one will go to movies with me...because i'm loud and the other people in the theater tell me to shove it
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
OMGGG OMG LETS NOT GO THERE...lets just say i was 16 and let that be the end of it....for all of you that were there i'm soo sorry..
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
being with the person i care about? but we all say that, do we not?
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
fashion? psssht, what i fucking find in my closet, and i have nothing to wear...i mean, if you don't count the "plaid shorts, poodle socks, an rince mor tee and a ponytail"....haha (notice how all the armcrew people have the same fashion sense!? lol)
34. What kept you sane?
"well, i'd have to say my family, my friends, and the fans....ohhh the fans i couldn't have done it without yo-" ummm wait, sanity?! holy fuck!!! i have only been sane since never...
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
aretha franklin - hahaha
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
fuck you, fuck politics...fuck the idiots of the world
37. Who did you miss?
my awesome friend renee....who told me she was moving away and i didnt believe her...and now shes gone
38. Who was the best new person you met?
SPARKY, you are my coolest new friend
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
well, we have a fucking hilarious friend who thoughtfully shared his wisdom with us on new years day, referring to a broken fucking lighthouse of dan's possession : "you only put it back together enough just so that if someone else comes along it looks not broken, and if they touch it and it collapses, then they think that they broke it..." - hahah evan, you are wise beyond your years..
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"i never thought about no future, it's just a roll of the dice...
but the day may come when you've got something to lose, and just when you think you're done paying dues
you say to yourself, Dear God, what have I done?! and hope it's not too late 'cause tomorrow may never come..
reach for the sky, 'cause tomorrow
may never come..."



ooohhhh 2004....: my year, my life, my vice...