Horgan, the Horrible.

There are not enough choice explicatives in the world to sufficiently scold these people. First of all, there are some dancers you can tell are out of their league in a competition simply by looking at them, given away by their horrendous slump of a posture, the highly suspicious inwardly angle of the feet that are so far out in the other direction it would suggest broken bones, and just the way they carry themselves....or rather, in retrospect, the way the don't. Or, rather, the utter confusion they express when they try. Not to mention the blank stupidity written across their face characterized by vacant eyes and a wide-ass, ludicrous smile that only further decribes their idiocy if you haven't already noticed before that they were an ignoramous. It is clear they have no comprehension of who they are and what they are doing there...and then you begin to wonder if they are literally retarded after they start laughing at nothing in particular and talking to themselves. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the young man that took first today. I'm sure he freakin' pissed his pants when he heard the news, because he sure as hell has never gotten first before in his life and will likely never acheive such an honor ever again, unless he returns to this stupid feis next year. Which now brings me to my second point: THIS WAS HIS SCHOOL FEIS. As it was the school feis for ALL THE OTHER FIRST PLACE WINNERS IN PRELIMINARY. (and I don't even know about the other levels.)

A WORD OF WARNING TO ALL OF YOU SIGNING UP FOR FEISES IN THE FUTURE: ABSTAIN FROM APPLYING TO HORGAN'S SCHOOL FEIS. THEY ARE COMPLETE JACKASSES. DO NOT MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELVES AND GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY.

I'm not even finished yet. The clever Horgan committee running the feis made absolutely fucking certain to place all their clearly inept dancers, and did not even attempt to be sneaky about it like Petri does at their feises. They claim to have done all the calculations BY HAND because of a lack of the proper computer software, which is a wide load of horse shit. These motherfuckers had already decided who they were placing, and arranged the results to comply. And then they brainlessly stuck some of the other deserving dancers at random in the lineup, exeedingly careful not to place them first. This left some qualified people out of the running altogether. For example, my own competition. There were seven dancers, three of them for the Horgan school, including this aforementioned boy, in particular. It seemed suprising to most onlookers that they had even passed for Prizewinners. And yet by some grand miracle of life, they took first, third, and fourth as well. The single deserving dancer placed took second, which falls into what I was saying before about the random interjection of some good people. I suppose this was a desperate attempt to make it appear as though it "wasn't that obvious", despite the fact it was the most conspicuous thing you have ever seen. Oh boy, and here's the best part! : they don't even give you your marks there, you have to SEND THEM THREE FUCKING DOLLARS IN AN ENVELOPE AND WAIT TWO MONTHS TO GET THIS BOGUS PIECE OF SHIT. BECAUSE THE RESULTS WERE NEVER CALCULATED. THEY WERE NOT EVEN REAL. THEY MIGHT AS WELL NOT EVEN HAVE HAD JUDGES THERE, WHAT IS THE POINT?! (It kinda reminds me of the time at a feis in like oceanside or someplace where they claimed to have "lost" the marks in the trash, and were amazingly located again many agonizing hours later, when in actuality the entire thing was staged for certain people to win.) It was out of sheer curiosity as to what my remarks would entail that I sent these motherfuckers three of my american dollars, unfortunately enough to their benefit.

We even witnessed the judges fighting right in front of everyone, apparently referring to the discrepencies regarding the top placement. And this may sound weird to you, but I was glad to see it; at least not all the judges are so easily persuaded. The whole time as I was packing my things, I was sincerely wondering how anyone could do something so disgraceful. It seemed utterly disgusting to me how some people can stoop so low. The injustice of the world ! I really cannot stand to take peoples shit any longer, especially in realation to something that I take so seriously, something that means so much to me and is such a large part of my life. It just so happens that I WANT to EARN my place, and I can NOT afford to have something like this happen to me, not now. Blasphemy ! You people should really be ashamed of yourselves, if you only knew half the shame I felt for you ! And as I was leaving the loathed premesis, I felt kinda sorry for them; the only way their students would ever place is if they fixed their own feis. And as I called myself an idiot aloud, i decided to shut up before I appeared to the world just about as crazy as that boy.

This Isn't Really Goodbye...?!

I take myself back to the old days when I was a solemn irish step dancer, and what me and Kristine like to refer to as "the grrrr face", and I wonder how in the hell I ever got by without you guys. It really is actually quite funny, if you think about it (...I mean me, serious?! lol), you know, how you all kinda hated me? It's amazing, the time we've wasted not being friends, and who would've known we actually were destined to be the best and closest of, well, basically sisters?? I don't think anyone could have forseen that, because friends like you are rare, and precious, and extremely hard to come by. There is no one I love more than you girls, there is no way I could ever have other friends as dear to me as you. You make dance mean more to me than anything, and the friendship we have together as the Armcrew is something I truly treasure, and keep close to my heart. I would die for any of you, and if something ever happened to you guys I'm sure that honestly, it would kill me too. Okay, so yeah, I have some words dedicated to each of you.

Erinno, you were my first friend at An Rince Mor! I remember we made up retarded nicknames for each other, what were they? Haha, yes...they were Ern and Mre. Do you remember? I was a bit skeptical of you at first...in my head I was thinking she is a weirdo, but then as we gradually became closer friends, I slept over your house for the first time. I remember how much fun we had, although I admit I don't recall exactly what we did the entire time, I do remember that that was when I decided I really liked you. (It's just too bad I can't sleep over there anymore....hmm...lol.) I've always known you had a true talent for dance...while I was at your house, I caught sight of all your trophys and awards, and all your acheivements from dance, and since then I knew you were really going somewhere. And I've always admired you so much for that. And you definately should have been in that televised St. Patty's day thing! We were the best partners ever! lol. Not only do you have a great skill in making up those kickass dance moves we always have for shows and such (ahem, niiiiice setpiece, and I don't know how we will manage without you!), but you dance with a grace and strength that I've never seen before in anyone! Feises don't matter at all when it comes to you, everyone can clearly see how awesome a dancer you are; you definately, in my book, are the best! You deserve all the credit and the name you have made for yourself among ARM and as well as in the irish dancing world. Since day one you've put up with alll my crap and craziness...trust me, not many people stick around when they find out I'm so retarded. Erin you always make me laugh, and we've always have incredible fun together, and with the others. I think most recently, our good times have been reading bad poetry...well, that is after we finally decipher what the words actually are hahaha. I really really just don't want you to go away, and I know it sounds juvenile. But I love you, and I always will, and you'd better come back and party Armcrew style with us again. You are my funny friend, I don't know how I could live without you and your hilarious (and random) comments...sometimes rambling speeches. You could light up any room with you energy and spirit, and I'm sure that wherever you go (even if it's Virginia), people will recognize that and you'll make many new friends....just please don't forget about me!!

Kerri...or should i say, Percy? (or dare I say, Kerrio?! oh yeah, I totally went there, like oh what now.) I think you were actually my last friend at An Rince Mor! I remember when you first made it into prelim, and we didn't like each other at all...at least that's what I thought. I guess it just took me a while to really get to know you, and because I don't open up very well I'm sure it's the same vice versa. But still, I learned to accept your strangeness (lol), and then once we were friendly, it was easier to like you...and even easier to insult you! We had so many spastic moments together, and so many times when insulting the other one's face seemed like the best thing to do at the time. I think we really became close after the whole "someone-talking-behind-our-back" thing exploded...I remember how upset we were, and how we helped each other get over it, even plot an evil revenge that never worked out! (oOh God...lol.) Seriously though, you are so dedicated and put so much work and time into dance...and it totally shows! You have improved so much from the first time I have met you...and you have a style that is easy to recognize. That is what makes you a good dancer, and no matter what happens at a feis (like someone ummmm BAD getting 3rd, and you, er not?! ugh...) you are always number one to meee! Kerri, my confidant, I can tell you anything and know you will listen no matter how stupid a thing it is, and you are one of the only people I really trust. I truly accept all your derogatory remarks to me as signs of how much you really love me. (LOL.) I know I am annoying, but you stay with me through it all. I will miss being called crackhead by you when you leave. Please come back and visit, I think I will definately cry if I never see you anymore, because I love you too much not to.

Now both of you...I just want to add that I NEVER cry in public, and the thought of you guys leaving made me start BAWLING in front of EVERYONE. So you must know that you guys mean something truly special to me. If I never see you again in my life, I will always regret the day I didn't stalk you down. You'd better return (in your glory lol of your golden college-bound lives) and give us some more of those old-time memories that we already share together. There are so many! and yet there will never be enough. There aren't any words to measure what our friendship means to me. If you EVER need me for ANYTHING, I swear to you I'll be there for you. Oh yeah, and when you finally do take over ARM and open up that bar, you'd better hire me...I could help teach during the day, and produce the live musical entertainment at night!! (I'm not kidding lol I doubt anyone else would hire me....nor would I want them to! lol). I wish I could have even just one more year with you, just to have more to reminise about when you're gone....perhaps then I wouldn't miss you as much, but even that isn't true.

Don't you wish you could go back to the best moments of your life, and live them forever?! If I could I would, and they would be with you. I love you Erin and Kerri, and don't you ever forget that!! Good Luck in your college life, and please remember me...and Armcrew forever!!!!!!!! <33333

Yours Truly and With Much Love,

<3the Crazy Coconut